15 Tips For Dealing With A Difficult Boss

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By Desirée O, Purple Clover Logo

When you’re on the job, your superior should be the person who supports you and provides you with the leadership that you need in order to succeed. Unfortunately, there are times when you might end up employed under someone who makes your work-life an absolute nightmare. If you’re dealing with a difficult boss, here are 15 ways to handle the situation.

Try To Understand Where They’re Coming From

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Being in charge of a business and/or a team of staff members can be stressful. And while your boss certainly shouldn’t take out their emotions on their employees, and being under pressure isn’t an excuse for treating you poorly, it might help your own situation to put yourself in their shoes and try to understand their perspective in order to get an idea of how to address the issue. 

Accept That You Might Just Be Incompatible

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Before you decide that your boss is a jerk, take a good look at the circumstances and assess your individual work styles and personalities. Think about whether or not the two of you are alike in any way and what kinds of things you do differently. Frankly, your superior might not be a bad person — the two of you might just be incompatible.

Try to figure out if you’re the only one that’s having problems with the boss. If that’s the case, is it because your superior is targeting you directly or is it just that the two of you rub each other the wrong way and communicate differently? If the latter two are possibilities, then perhaps you can figure out how to make your working relationship a little more harmonious.

Accept That You Might Just Be Incompatible Before you decide that your boss is a jerk, take a good look at the circumstances and assess your individual work styles and personalities. Think about whether or not the two of you are alike in any way and what kinds of things you do differently. Frankly, your superior might not be a bad person — the two of you might just be incompatible.

Try to figure out if you’re the only one that’s having problems with the boss. If that’s the case, is it because your superior is targeting you directly or is it just that the two of you rub each other the wrong way and communicate differently? If the latter two are possibilities, then perhaps you can figure out how to make your working relationship a little more harmonious.

Talk To Your Coworkers

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If you’re having issues with your boss, try talking to one or two trusted coworkers about the situation. Ask them if they’ve been experiencing anything similar. If they have, then you can try to deal with the problem together. If they haven’t, then you can take a look at how your fellow employees’ relationships with your superior are different and use that knowledge to improve your own circumstances.

Attempt To Change The Tone Of Your Relationship

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If your boss seems to only have a problem with you, then you might be able to change the tone of your relationship with a few small adjustments to your interactions. Smile at them while you talk or offer a compliment here or there and they might respond by being nicer to you in return.

Try To Subtly Hint At The Issue With Your Boss

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Your boss might not respond to your attempts to change the overall tone of your relationship, which means that you may want to try subtly hinting at the problems that are cropping up. If there are specific issues that are causing friction, then try to bring up your concerns in a roundabout and nonconfrontational way while also peppering your conversations with helpful suggestions that might make life easier on both of you.

Come Right Out And Address The Problem

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If your subtle hints aren’t working, then it might be time to come right out and address the problem directly. You don’t want to stir up trouble, but you also need to resolve any issues in a calm and productive way. Come up with a plan to discuss the situation with your superior in a manner that will make you both feel comfortable enough to approach the circumstances calmly and then, when you feel prepared, ask your boss when they can meet with you to discuss your concerns.

Figure Out What Sets Them Off

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You might want to keep an eye on your boss’s behavior and try to spot any triggers that spark their difficult behavior. There may be a reason or multiple reasons why your boss is being difficult and if you can figure out what those reasons are, then you might be able to avoid setting them off. Maybe their stress levels skyrocket when they have a big meeting scheduled or perhaps they don’t appreciate people asking about their personal life. Or maybe they get grumpy when they need to eat, which means that you should stay out of their way before lunchtime.

Don’t Give Them Reasons To Cause You Problems

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While your boss’s difficult behavior may have nothing to do with you directly, you also don’t want to give them any reasons to cause you problems. Be sure to show up on time, do your best work, remain positive, and hopefully, they’ll take it easy on you.

Establish A Line That You Won’t Allow Them To Cross

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There may be some less-than-ideal behavior that you can deal with when it comes to your boss, but you also need to be sure to establish a line that you won’t allow them to cross. While they may be able to get away with being unpleasant or unreasonable from time to time, you need to make sure not to allow them to harass you, bully you, or become abusive.

Keep Your Distance

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If you’re unable to change the tone of your relationship with your boss or prevent their bad behavior, then your best bet may simply be to keep your distance. While you may not be able to avoid them at all times, you might be able to stay out of their problematic path.

Do Your Best Not To Let It Affect Your Work

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Dealing with a difficult boss isn’t only unpleasant, it can also hinder your professional performance. Whether it’s deflecting their overly harsh criticism during meetings or attempting to manage their unreasonable expectations, try to focus on doing your best work so that your current boss doesn’t make you (and your work) look bad and put your future opportunities in jeopardy.

Do Your Best Not To Let It Affect Your Life Away From Work

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The frustrations you feel with your boss might follow you home if you don’t consciously leave them behind when you leave your workplace. While it’s perfectly fine to discuss the issue with your spouse or partner, you definitely don’t want the situation to spoil your time at home or your relationships with your friends and family.

Try To Get Transferred

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If you simply can’t deal with your boss anymore and there’s no chance that the situation will improve, then you may need to consider asking for a transfer. You might find yourself a spot on a different team, different division, or even at a different office where you’ll be working under someone less problematic and where your skills will be appreciated.

Go Above Their Heads, If It’s Absolutely Necessary

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Trying to handle the issue yourself may not be possible, especially if you think you might need to be transferred. If it’s absolutely necessary, then you may need to request a meeting with your boss’s superior to attempt to resolve the issue or initiate a move.

Quit If You Have No Other Choice

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If your boss has no superior and there’s no way for you to transfer to another area, then it might be time to quit your job. Do your best to have something else lined up first and don’t burn bridges with your old boss if possible, but if you can’t handle going into work every day because it’s so awful, then you should probably start polishing up your résumé and drafting a resignation letter.