No one likes being the one left behind--it used to be cool dating
someone older than you, but now that he or she has graduated and gone
off to college, it's
not as fun. While your significant other is off at college creating
memories with new people in a new place, you're stuck at home doing the
same old things. It can be difficult for your relationship to thrive or
even survive at all when your lives are in such different places.
However, that does not make it impossible! There are several ways to
keep your relationship intact, no matter how far away you are from each
other.
1. Be Realistic
Things aren't going to be the same, that's a given. Your schedules will no longer sync with each other's--when he or she is in class, you may be getting out of sports practice and ready to chat the night away. Time to talk will be much more limited, but that's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. No text back in a few hours? He's probably busy, which means you should be too.
Things aren't going to be the same, that's a given. Your schedules will no longer sync with each other's--when he or she is in class, you may be getting out of sports practice and ready to chat the night away. Time to talk will be much more limited, but that's only a big deal if you make it a big deal. No text back in a few hours? He's probably busy, which means you should be too.
Is your girl not going to be able to make it back for your senior homecoming dance? Oh
well. It'll be more fun to go with friends anyway! Text conversations
and school dances aren't that important in the grand scheme of things.
As long as your relationship is happy, healthy and honest, that's all
that matters.
2. Prioritize the Little Things
I know that when my significant other is gone, I usually miss the little things about him. I like listening to him ramble insignificant details about his day and driving in the car with him soothes me. While he's away, it's easy to remedy this with short banter via text and selfies so we can see what each other is up to. These mini check-ins say, "Hey, I'm thinking about you," without being overbearing or disrespectful of the other person's time. Think about it: in the end, you remember all the little things because altogether, they make one big thing.
I know that when my significant other is gone, I usually miss the little things about him. I like listening to him ramble insignificant details about his day and driving in the car with him soothes me. While he's away, it's easy to remedy this with short banter via text and selfies so we can see what each other is up to. These mini check-ins say, "Hey, I'm thinking about you," without being overbearing or disrespectful of the other person's time. Think about it: in the end, you remember all the little things because altogether, they make one big thing.
3. Make Time for Just Each Other
While like I previously stated, it's important to give each other room to live your own lives, it's also equally important to carve out time for just the two of you. Some couples like to stay on a schedule--for example, calling each other twice a week at a certain time or having "date night" video chats every other week. Every human being likes to know they're appreciated and worthy of peoples' time, right? Right. This special time spent together is what will keep the relationship from seeming less like a friendship. Friendships are usually more casual while relationships require a little bit of extra maintenance.
While like I previously stated, it's important to give each other room to live your own lives, it's also equally important to carve out time for just the two of you. Some couples like to stay on a schedule--for example, calling each other twice a week at a certain time or having "date night" video chats every other week. Every human being likes to know they're appreciated and worthy of peoples' time, right? Right. This special time spent together is what will keep the relationship from seeming less like a friendship. Friendships are usually more casual while relationships require a little bit of extra maintenance.
4. Stay Honest
When you see someone every day, it's easy to figure out how their mood based on facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. However, when you're apart, it becomes a little more difficult to communicate. You can't play games in long distance relationships so it's very important to tell each other how you feel when you feel it. This isn't always easy because you don't want to seem like you're being overdramatic or needy, especially if you've been feeling neglected, but the consequences of not being open are much worse. Keeping bad vibes bottled up inside could cause you to lash out or start an unnecessary fight over a problem with a simple solution.
When you see someone every day, it's easy to figure out how their mood based on facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. However, when you're apart, it becomes a little more difficult to communicate. You can't play games in long distance relationships so it's very important to tell each other how you feel when you feel it. This isn't always easy because you don't want to seem like you're being overdramatic or needy, especially if you've been feeling neglected, but the consequences of not being open are much worse. Keeping bad vibes bottled up inside could cause you to lash out or start an unnecessary fight over a problem with a simple solution.
By Quincy Bulin
Teen Advice Expert
