What if you could have it all by answering a question about how you
feel? When you feel like you don’t have it all, I invite you to pause
in that VERY moment and ask yourself “What am I feeling? How do I
feel?” The answer is more than a house cleaner or chauffeur. It is so
much deeper than this.
The Women’s Rights Movement
was not fought so we would be miserable and unhappy. It was fought to
give us the chance for opportunity. It’s up to us to find joy and make
things click. When joy is found we notice that we have it all. So how
do you find joy? Work on stre.
One step in building emotional intelligence
is managing your emotions. So let's get started. To help you get in
touch with your emotions think of a time when you felt one of the
emotions below. Feeling these emotions is normal and everyone feels
them. What new perspective do you gain from feeling it now? If you're
feeling this emotion now, how could you work on resolving it so you can
find joy?
If you Feel Sad
You broke down in tears.
Your chest hurt, there was no control over the waterworks, and it was
hard to take a breath. Looking up is difficult. Yet what’s done is
done and there isn’t anything you can do that will change things. Life
moves on and you have responsibilities. What could be the solution?
Realize that we all have our good days and our bad and in that moment
your Mommy Energy is low so you could try to boost it.
If you Feel Guilty
Goodbyes
are said almost every day and you feel like you have no control. Your
child clinging to your legs makes you question if you’re making the
right choice. You tearfully put your car in reverse and a sense of
longing and incompetence makes your chest feel heavy. What’s the
solution? In a funny way, guilt is something you can choose to feel.
Have faith in you career plan and that your child is safe.
If you Feel Anxiety
You
can’t stop thinking about it. Will it happen? You can’t sleep. Could
it really be true? You break out in a sweat, feel faint, or the room,
or the road, starts spinning. The only thing that snaps you out of it
is pulling into the rest area and getting out of your car into the snow
storm. Ah… relief. But you still need to get back into the car and
drive home. What is the solution? Deep, long, slow breaths. Fresh
air. Working on your assertiveness skills so saying “no” isn’t as challenging.
When you Feel Joy
Your
children laugh often and you feel good in your skin. You have a roof
over your head and toys to play with. You’re succeeding in your career
and you’re doing it according to your values and priorities. Your
family is happy and healthy. The path is set and your choices are spot
on. There is plenty of support under you and having it all is
possible.
The big question you need to ask is “What will make me
happy?” The answers are within you, not in a friend’s advice or the
Internet. Having it all isn’t an imaginary lifestyle but the answers
may not come all at once. You can begin with making a choice to pay
attention to your emotions and truly feel them .This is where the
definition of your “all” will stem from.
You are a hard Working
Mom and deserve happiness. If you want to have it all, then choose to
have it. Joy is available to everyone if you choose to feel it.
By Elizabeth McGrory
Working Moms Expert
