What if you could have it all by answering a question about how you feel? When you feel like you don’t have it all, I invite you to pause in that VERY moment and ask yourself “What am I feeling? How do I feel?” The answer is more than a house cleaner or chauffeur. It is so much deeper than this.
The Women’s Rights Movement was not fought so we would be miserable and unhappy. It was fought to give us the chance for opportunity. It’s up to us to find joy and make things click. When joy is found we notice that we have it all. So how do you find joy? Work on stre.
One step in building emotional intelligence is managing your emotions. So let's get started. To help you get in touch with your emotions think of a time when you felt one of the emotions below. Feeling these emotions is normal and everyone feels them. What new perspective do you gain from feeling it now? If you're feeling this emotion now, how could you work on resolving it so you can find joy?
If you Feel Sad
You broke down in tears. Your chest hurt, there was no control over the waterworks, and it was hard to take a breath. Looking up is difficult. Yet what’s done is done and there isn’t anything you can do that will change things. Life moves on and you have responsibilities. What could be the solution? Realize that we all have our good days and our bad and in that moment your Mommy Energy is low so you could try to boost it.
If you Feel Guilty
Goodbyes are said almost every day and you feel like you have no control. Your child clinging to your legs makes you question if you’re making the right choice. You tearfully put your car in reverse and a sense of longing and incompetence makes your chest feel heavy. What’s the solution? In a funny way, guilt is something you can choose to feel. Have faith in you career plan and that your child is safe.
If you Feel Anxiety
You can’t stop thinking about it. Will it happen? You can’t sleep. Could it really be true? You break out in a sweat, feel faint, or the room, or the road, starts spinning. The only thing that snaps you out of it is pulling into the rest area and getting out of your car into the snow storm. Ah… relief. But you still need to get back into the car and drive home. What is the solution? Deep, long, slow breaths. Fresh air. Working on your assertiveness skills so saying “no” isn’t as challenging.
When you Feel Joy
Your children laugh often and you feel good in your skin. You have a roof over your head and toys to play with. You’re succeeding in your career and you’re doing it according to your values and priorities. Your family is happy and healthy. The path is set and your choices are spot on. There is plenty of support under you and having it all is possible.
The big question you need to ask is “What will make me happy?” The answers are within you, not in a friend’s advice or the Internet. Having it all isn’t an imaginary lifestyle but the answers may not come all at once. You can begin with making a choice to pay attention to your emotions and truly feel them .This is where the definition of your “all” will stem from.
You are a hard Working Mom and deserve happiness. If you want to have it all, then choose to have it. Joy is available to everyone if you choose to feel it.
By Elizabeth McGrory
Working Moms Expert